Things that make me uncomfortable

A list of things that make me uncomfortable:

• People who think we shouldn't die -- they make me uncomfortable because all of it makes a lot of sense yet they feel so wrong; something about something deeply impossible-seeming about finding happy endings for humanity, for any natural trait taken to the extreme results in something un-human; an intuition that humanity is never in equillibrium and is deeply imperfect and inconsistent by nature; maybe for this very reason artifical intelligence alignment is impossible because no world resulting from artificial superintelligence will be human, no matter if it results in paradise or suffering. Humanity ceases to exist in utopia as much as it does in apocalypse -- humanity is not alienated from its inner consciousness by religion or economics: humanity is the alienation, it exists in the gray spaces never discovered by life before. It will always remain dialectic, for any resolution would be its end. Humanity is cognitive dissonance, humanity is the nonrational. It is matter distinguishing itself from matter. But this is the source of all the beauty as well as all the pain; to save humanity but not save pain is meaningless. That is why utopias will never be attained: utopia is the end, the rise of something not-human. At this point the question is: do we want to save humanity, which is saving suffering as much as joy, so it cannot be an utopia, but a continuation of historical dialectic ad infinitum (however, with possibly more and more power from technology that could end it at any time), or end humanity with transcendence. But if the question is transcendence or extinction, then transcendence must be attained by all, and not just the select few, controlling the means of transcendence. Currently the means of transcendence are produced by economies in which the few control these means. That must be ended before humanity can end. Capitalism must be ended or transcendence will be meaningless. With this I proclaim transcendental Marxism and the "bittersweet ending" of humanity. This is the best we can hope for. The universe holds no utopia for humans, for humans are an intermediate state. The next state must be constructed so that it is capable of utopia. But the transition must be egalitarian. Alternatively, there might be a human utopia in the virtual world -- re-enacting histories of past days with meaning, but without the possibility of real suffering or loss. Maybe that is the best we have. Virtual history, virtual humanity. All of this makes me extremely uncomfortable. Also the fuck did I just say.
• some others